100 Funny Cartoon Quotes

Honestly, when people say cartoons are just for kids, I roll my eyes so hard I practically see the back of my own skull.

They’re absolutely missing the boat, like someone trying to use a TV remote for a car key.

The real gold?

It’s not just the bright colors…it’s that razor-sharp writing.

Seriously, who hasn’t found themselves quoting something brilliantly random from a vintage Looney Tune ?

These shows, from the old-school gems to the current hits streaming everywhere, are packed with clever one-liners and timeless jokes.

We’re talking about those specific, concrete words that immediately fire up your nostalgia, making you feel ten years younger with a sudden burst of pure, unadulterated laughter.

Get ready, because these hundred quotes are a fantastic, joyful jolt of positivity, like a triple-shot espresso for your funny bone.

Classic Cartoon Quotes

These twenty lines are the hilarious, multi-word gems that stand alone as perfectly crafted jokes.

I’ve probably used half of these on my own bad days, because they just work.

You’ll never know how happy you made me by not coming over. (Daffy Duck)
Don’t take life too seriously; you’ll never get out alive. (Bugs Bunny)
The mouse got away! I’m a failure! I’ll never forgive myself! (Tom)
In all the world, there is no study so beneficial as the study of beauty.
Someday I’m gonna hang that mouse’s skin on the wall. (Tom)
I’m not bad, I’m just drawn that way. (Jessica Rabbit)
I’m just a sweet little mouse who’s happy with his lot in life. (Jerry, completely lying)
No one messes with my spinach! (Popeye)
Oh, a wise guy, eh? (Bugs Bunny)
Well, if that ain’t a sign to stay home, I don’t know what is! (Fred Flintstone)
I’m always suspicious of a man who takes a bath on Saturday night. (Yogi Bear)
Be vewy vewy quiet, I’m hunting wabbits! (Elmer Fudd)
I’m tellin’ ya, it’s a dog’s life! (Scooby-Doo)

I’m not fat, I’m festively plump!
Don’t feel bad, Shaggy. I’m afraid, too! (Scooby-Doo)
Look out for that first step! It’s a doozy! (Bugs Bunny)
Gosh, I’m an awful coward. (Daffy Duck)
Wally, where do you hide the money? (Wilma Flintstone)
This is a job for the police, not for a bunch of meddling kids and their dog!
Duh!

Funny Disney Cartoon Quotes

These are the fantastic, funny lines, taken from films that truly define modern animation.

They have fantastic cadence and are impossible to read without hearing the character’s voice.

Hakuna Matata! It means no worries for the rest of your days.
You are a sad, strange little man, and you have my pity.
The only thing predictable about life is its unpredictability.
Just keep swimming.
I’m a damsel, I’m in distress, I can handle this. Have a nice day.
Laughter is ten times more powerful than screams.
To infinity and beyond!
Ten thousand years will give you such a crick in the neck.
I shall call him Squishy, and he shall be mine, and he shall be my Squishy.

I’m surrounded by idiots.
Yo, rugman! Haven’t seen you in a few millennia. Give me some tassel.
Fish are friends, not food.
I never look back, darling. It distracts me from the now.
Well, you can either run from it or learn from it.
Oh, look at that. I’ve been impaled.
There seems to be no signs of intelligent life anywhere.
When life gets you down, you know what you gotta do? Just keep swimming.

I’m not a prize to be won!
It’s times like this my buddy Timon here says: you got to put your behind in your past.
Kitty!

Funny SpongeBob SquarePants Quotes

These are the truly unhinged, deeply relatable, full-sentence lines that perfectly capture the chaotic energy of Bikini Bottom.

No single-word nonsense here…just pure, concentrated, beautiful foolishness.

Is mayonnaise an instrument?
The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
Goodbye everyone, I’ll remember you all in therapy.
I don’t need it. I don’t need it. I definitely don’t need it.

Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are.
You like Krabby Patties, don’t you Squidward?
I went to college!
The best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time.
It’s not a boulder. It’s a rock!
I’ll have you know I stubbed my toe last week while watering my spice garden, and I only cried for twenty minutes.

Can I be excused for the rest of my life?
I’m ugly and I’m proud!
Wumbology, the study of wumbo. It’s first grade, SpongeBob!
That smell. A kind of smelly smell. The smelly smell that smells…smelly.
Too bad SpongeBob’s not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here.
Hello, I like money!
If I were to die right now, in a fiery explosion due to the carelessness of a friend, then it would just be alright.
We shall never deny a guest even the most ridiculous request.
All I know is fine dining and breathing.
I knew I should’ve gotten the turbo.

Funny Simpsons Quotes

Homer’s Parental Wisdom (or Lack Thereof)

You tried your best, and you failed miserably The lesson is never try
Kids are the best you can teach them to hate the things you hate And they practically raise themselves what with the internet and all
Marge don’t discourage the boy Weaseling out of things is important to learn It’s what separates us from the animals Except the weasel
Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand
I’m not a bad guy I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I’m going to Hell
The key to parenting is don’t overthink it. Because overthinking leads to what were talking about

Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail
I think the saddest day of my life was when I realized I could beat my Dad at most things, and Bart experienced that at the age of four

Bart’s Truths on Misbehavior and School

Eat my shorts
Ay Caramba
I didn’t do it
Women are easy, states and capitals are hard
I don’t know I don’t know why I did it I don’t know why I enjoyed it And I don’t know why I’ll do it again
I’m Bart Homer Simpson’s boy, who the hell are you

Lisa’s Cynical Observations

I didn’t know that was an option
If anyone wants me, I’ll be in my room solving the moral problem of the universe
Mom romance is dead It was acquired in a hostile takeover by Hallmark and Disney homogenized and sold off piece by piece

Springfield Family Classics

Remember as far as anyone knows we’re a nice normal family
The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV
It takes two to lie, One to lie and one to listen

Funny Family Guy Quotes

Peter’s Idiocy and Life Lessons

Peter Griffin is essentially a giant toddler in a shirt, yet somehow he’s the patriarch.

His quotes are the golden ratio of confidence and utter, stunning stupidity.

He never learns, he never apologizes, and that’s precisely the brilliance of the man.

I have an idea so smart that my head would explode if I even began to know what I was talking about
Now I may be an idiot, but there’s one thing I am not sir and that sir is an idiot
Lois might be worth a million dollars to you but to me she’s worthless
I’m not drunk, I’m just exhausted ’cause I’ve been up all night drinking
Love is like a fart If you have to force it, it’s probably crap
I’m going to do what I do best. Lie, steal, cheat, and survive
I always thought dogs laid eggs And I learned something today

Stewie’s Wry Observations

Stewie, the high-brow, matricidal genius baby, gives us the sophisticated, British-accented critique of the world.

He’s the brilliant outsider, trapped in a baby’s body

Victory is mine
Blast you and your accursed curiosity
Whose leg do you have to hump to get a dry martini around here
I’m going to find something to strike you with excuse me
Close your purse I can see your tampons And why do you need six What happens to you
Oh look a barbershop quartet in four-part harmony That takes skill